Balancing the Fashion Equation

by Shannon


(Editor's note: While I'm typing this out, Cruncher is listening to "I'm Blue" by Eiffel 65, his second favorite song, on repeat. He's desperately trying to learn the lyrics. Yup. At least he's cute.)


Mixing and matching a wardrobe is the kind of challenge I love. I naturally have a mathematical mind, but I choose to appreciate art and style.  Sometimes, balancing an outfit feels like balancing an equation to me, so I'd like to walk you through how my brain works when combining pieces for the first time. Like many a professor, this post will be far to wordy, so strap yourself in.

When my sister went shopping with her bridesmaids last spring, she was hoping to find something we could wear again (thanks, Sis!). I was really excited about the lace Jessica Simpson dress we found on clearance at Macy's, and all three of us found our size in the four dresses that were left. It was really tough for me to not wear the dress leading up the wedding, and I looked forward to wearing it later.

But  ... it took me eight months to wear it again.

It felt just a little bit fancy for Mass, a little too fancy for dinner out and a lot too fancy for work. I knew if I was ever going to wear it again (and not to another wedding), I would need to find a way to dress it reeeeeeal down.

I'll just state the obvious, here: When I link up for What I Wore Sunday, I try my darnedest to wear a new combination of items each week. I'm blessed with a versatile wardrobe and lots of fantastic places to shop for affordable new and used clothing. I have a few items I've not yet worn for the link up, but I'm saving them for spring and summer. So, I knew it was time — time to break out the bridesmaid dress.

Even though we wore this dress in a June wedding, it looks more like a New Year's Eve party dress, so it would translate well for this cold weather we're (still!) having. But, since it is (still!) cold, plus the outfit needed to be modest, I definitely needed something to cover my arms.

Deets (from bottom left clockwise): 
Floral jacket: Meijer; Golden Belt: Target
Striped Oxford Shirt: J. Crew, consigned
Cropped Denim Jacket: Wrangler, consigned
Plaid Preppy Cardi: Vintage, consigned
Fine-Cord Icy Blazer: Petite Sophisticate, thrifted (and gifted)
Plaid Riding Jacket: Target (and gifted)

Here were all my options for modesting-up the frock. Hands down, the BEST way to style this dress casual is a cropped denim jacket and some boots. The ruggedness of the denim and boots balances the lacy, girly dress in a way that ... well ... just works.

Necklace Deets: Vintage, consigned

I threw on a vintage statement necklace, which pulled in the blue of the jacket and the laciness of the dress, stood back and smiled. BUT. I knew I wasn't going to wear this. Not yet. I had decided to send my new boots back to Zappos for an exchange, and there's just something about a denim jacket with a dress that screams "SPRING!" to me. As much as I want spring-dress weather here and now, I needed to hold off. Just know I'm really looking forward to wearing this getup after Easter.

Pearls Deets: Target

On to the first-runnuer up: the oxford shirt. I had seen other ladies on the link up take a perfectly lovely dress and layer it over a preppy oxford with pearls on top, or even a lace skirt with an oxford and chunky necklace. Something about this look here doesn't work for me, though. My brain was saying, "Yes — the math is there! It's balanced: Preppy, feminine, classic. It works!" But my eye was say, "No. No no no no no. Start over." I might give this combo another try in the spring, when I can wear a strappy sandal. The biggest problem with this outfit is none of my winter shoes were going to work. I considered my tan penny loafers, but those shoes look sooooo much better on a naked leg, not with nude hose. Again, the cold weather had defeated my fashion equation.

Belt Deets: All from Target

Second-runner up: the floral jacket. Ryan HATES this combination, though I had excitedly purchased this jacket (on severe clearance!) specifically for this dress. I thought the jacket's pleather and gold zipper gave the dress the hardness it needed, and I was planning to pull it together with black tights and my black heeled boots I wear too often. I had multiple belts that would work with the jacket's colors and was deciding between them when ... sigh ... I realized Ryan was right. Hate to admit it, but the man has really great style instincts (probably from being raised by a single mom). The cut of the jacket is the main problem, and I'd alter it if I weren't so lazy (it's without a liner, so a pretty simple job).

The jacket needs to be shorter. Cropped jackets actually hit me at my natural waistline, since I'm not quite 5'2", so a non-petite jacket has a tendency to look sloppy when paired with something that isn't body conscious. I would try belting the jacket on the outside, but it's too boxy. The fabric would get all bunchy and weird. This dress isn't fitted enough to work with a non-structured jacket, which is why I knew none of the jackets, sweaters or shirts I had considered were going to work.

It was now clear. In order to balance this fashion equation in winter, the dress required the following:

• A structured jacket or sweater: The dress has far too much fabric in the skirt to have a bunch of fabric up top, as well. When wearing a flowy jacket, wear a body-conscious bottom, and vice versa when wearing a structured top. If you wear all flowy, you'll look bigger than you are. If you wear all fitted, you might look immodest (depending on the fit).
• A belt: I might have lost five pounds since the wedding.
• Some rock 'n' roll jewelry: This would provide that "hardness" the dress needs to toughen it up and dress it down.
• A solid color from knee to floor: Since the dress hits me at the knee and I'm lacking in the height department, I don't need my legs to be chopped up into smaller pieces.

I was going about it all wrong. The biggest hindrance to the dress wasn't the jacket. It was the shoes. Each time I had considered a jacket, I was good until I got to my feet. Plus, not all of my shoes look good with solid-colored tights.

Shoe Deets (left to right): Crown Vintage from DSW, Naturalizer from TJ Maxx, Report from Zappos.
Black Belt Deets: Simply Vera Wang

I already knew the penny loafers weren't going to work. The metallic flats only work with brown tights, and the dress isn't a brown-tights frock. Hmm. New black boots maybe? With a black belt and black tights, it's a little bit rock 'n' roll. Perhaps a little bit '80s too, but that's en vogue now (and, funnily enough, very Madonna). I pulled out last year's Easter cardi, and there was my outfit! I just needed jewelry to complete the look.

Necklace Deets (left to right): vintage thrifted, Target and Target

The old lady chain didn't work with the neckline or the shoes. The chunky chain necklace wasn't quiiiiite long enough, though I wished it worked. Love. That. Necklace. Last one up, the exaggerated chain necklace was juuuuuust right. It's a little bit rock 'n' roll, just long enough for the neckline, not too heavy (since the belt is pretty focus-pulling), but still added a nice punch to the picture.

Earring Deets: 1928

I could have gone all the way rock 'n' roll with the accessories, but something more delicate worked best for earrings. The filigree and little porcelain rose looked lovely with the dress' lace and were the same gold finish as the necklace. Ryan picked them out, actually, and it was the right call.

Can't really see the shoes too well, but there it is — the balanced fashion formula. The dress is more casual, yet still Mass appropriate. Modest, yet statement-making.

Which jacket or sweater would you have chosen? Did you like one of the other necklaces or pair of shoes better? How do you pull together an outfit: in your mind, on hangers, or by trying it on?


(Editor's note: By the end of this post, Luke had moved on to "The Saga Begins" by Weird Al, his first favorite song. Still on repeat. Still cute.)

What I Wore Sunday, or The One in Which The Kids Think I'm Cool

by Shannon

Editor's Note: We'd love to have you subscribe to The Sword and the Stein, whichever way is easiest for you. The Facebook button, other subscribe buttons and doodads are to the left. We're trying to post more regularly through the week, and I've featured fashion on days other than the Sabbath (shock!). I'm excited about a post I'm going to do in the next day or two called "Balancing the Fashion Equation," and I also plan to rant about how difficult it is to dress a little boy. Ryan's conceptualizing a post about spiritual poverty, since he's our resident swordy poster. We get bored, so swing back in sometime and say hello! 


I ran some women's errands after Mass today, and a young cashier told me my outfit was "super-cute," so I guess I'm cool with The Kids these days. I know she was über hip because she was wearing a literal hair bow (where all her hair was forming a big bow atop her head), and she had Pinterest eye makeup with sparkles. What do you think: Did I dress 15 years too young? I felt modest, modern, feminine and fun, so a win-win-win-win.

My right pinkie finger has gone rogue.

Deets:
Rose Earrings: 1928
Black shrug: Dress Barn
Exaggerated Chain Necklace: Target
Gold Lace Dress: Jessica Simpson, Macy's (bridesmaid dress from my sister's wedding — I totally wore it again!)
Black Belt: Simply Vera, Kohls
Tortoiseshell Watch: Fossil
Black Tights: Target
Black Ankle Boots: Report, Zappos

My women's errands included grocery shopping and BUYING A NEW APPLIANCE!! If you don't get excited when brining home a new appliance, I do believe you are lying through your pretty little teeth. Or you're just not doing it right.

Let's tell her what she's won! A braaaaand neeeeeew...

VACUUM CLEANER!!

There's a little dust bunny right ... over ... there — oh, HEY! How nice to see you!

I'll be especially efficient around the homestead now that I have a new lightweight vacuum cleaner. It's so light, I can carry it all by myself. My husband is very excited about the prospects of dinner being ready a few minutes early each evening, now that I have a new lightweight vacuum cleaner. This new lightweight vacuum cleaner gives my life new purpose. I think I'll invite my girlfriends over this week to show them how awesome my new lightweight vacuum cleaner is. I know they're dying for a new lightweight vacuum cleaner that will save their marriages.

I'll get those vermin if it's the last thing I do, y'all. Crazy bunnies...

On a more serious note...

I veiled for the first and second times yesterday and today, and I'm sold. It's been a long time since I've felt so focused and reverent during Mass. Yesterday, my Divine Intimacy reading was amazingly poignant. 

"O Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto Thine. ... The exterior attitude and the humility of our words are useless unless accompanied by lowliness of heart; many times they are but the mask of a refined pride. ... First make clean the inside."

A few other notes from the weekend's homilies. 1. Turn to God and ask for humility of heart. 2. The only thing to fear in God is losing Him. 3. Take God's love to heart so it may bear fruit on Earth. 

Oh, and if you're interested in amping up your prayer action for the Conclave, Adopt a Cardinal! We got His Eminence Paolo Sardi. He's not likely to be elected, since he's nearly 80, so Ryan and I are really excited about the prospects of Cardinal O'Malley. We still need to put together our blog roll, and he'll be near the top.

Lastly, I'm pretty sure Cruncher sensed the veil was important to me, so he bothered Ryan more than me during Mass. Worth. It. 

Mosey on over to the ladies at Fine Linen and Purple for less snarky posts.

What I Wore Sunday: Transition Outfit

by Shannon

Shameful plug: We've undergone another redesign here at The Sword and the Stein! I hope this one sticks. Feel free to peruse. The About tab is pretty much written, though I'd like to add more old and embarrassing photos. You can get to know us there, so pleased to meet you! I've started on a lot of the other tabs but have lots more work to do. We're also going to try to post more regularly, maybe even with a schedule of sorts (shock and awe!), and Ryan's going to have a sword post every week or so (or heads will roll). I've also started to put together a Facebook page, so I'd love your likes. Feedback is welcome. 

"Your presence, O Lord, I seek. Hide not your face from me."

– Psalm 27

Cruncher's project from today's CCD class, a "stained glass" Christian fish.

We had guests again this evening, and I needed to run errands for fabulous frittata ingredients before their arrival, so I wore a transition outfit to Mass. That means I was able to easily change my skirt and dress shoes for jeans and boots so I could get back out the door swiftly.

Deets for Mass:
Periwinkle headband: Goody's, Meijer
Cameo earrings: vintage, gift
Fair isle sweater: LL Bean, gift
Miraculous Medal: local Catholic store, gift
Metallic belt: Target
Plum wool skirt: H&M, consignment store
Boring brown tights: Target
Metallic mom flats: Naturalizer, TJ Maxx

Changes/additions for errands:
Amethyst necklace: gift
Skinnies: Old Navy 
Black boots: Target

No closeup on the cheapo $7 boots, because they'll be donated by this time next week. I've ordered two pair of end-of-season boots for next winter, but I'll probably wear them well into spring. I imagine I'll keep my Born boots, for when I want a grungy, slouchy boot, but I'm really looking forward to having boots that can be dressed up.

You will be seeing one of these two on my feet within the week.

Here's our cute little dinner guests. Check back in a few days for more adorableness and details on the fabulous frittata. 

Boo-boo, Bubba and Little Bear.

Last week, I asked readers to give me feedback on veiling if they do so. Conveniently, two other linking-up ladies wrote about veiling in their WIWS posts, so I had a wealth of new information. I loved Kelly's how-to post (which isn't so easy to research online). And Laura's heartfelt post touched on a lot of my own thoughts.

When I talk to friends who have considered veiling, they often say they're afraid people will think they're one of "those people." That issue doesn't hit home with me. I'm happy to be a good example in life, and even during Mass, when I'm being called to it. Because the Vatican no longer has an official statement about the who, when, where, why and how of veiling (correct me if I'm wrong), discerning to veil is truly a decision of the heart. Veiling is extremely personal, and it's up to each and every Catholic woman to decide if it's right for her and why.

My fear is instead this: My veil will look like just another accessory. I tend to dress head-to-toe, most of my skirts don't reach my ankles, I'm full-time employed, and I only have one child, thus I don't appear like a typical veiler from my parish. I don't want people get all judge-y on me, thinking I don't fully understand the veil and am only wearing one because it's, like, soooooo pretty.

This is also why Kelly and Laura's posts were beyond encouraging. I really needed to see examples of women who are both respectful of the Eucharist, emulating Our Lady, while simultaneously caring about their outward appearances. It seems that up to Vatican II, ladies would seriously wear their Sunday's best to Mass, pulling themselves together at least one day a week, and topping it off with a veil. Where did that attitude go?

There are so. Many. Distractions. The crazier this world gets, the more I want to just pull back and focus on Him. I pray that veiling provides me with a sense of reverence and focus on the Eucharist that I feel I am lacking as of late. I simultaneously long to be an example of true devotion and femininity to others, especially my son and husband, while also creating a sort of spiritual cocoon in which to pray and really meditate on the Mass.

I hope to give veiling a try at a Saturday morning Mass during Lent to see if it really is for me, and I'd love any further feedback on the topic. Now, go on ye to Fine Linen and Purple. Blessings!

What I Wore Sunday

by Shannon

"He must increase, but I must decrease."

– John 3:30

Happy Baptism of the Lord! So ... if the tree is still up after today, I'm officially lazy, right? Today's fashion photography will take place in a room without a tree, so I may continue to ignore the room with a tree.

As is often the case with my devotions, today's reading from Divine Intimacy (a lovely gift from my lovely mother) had something I needed to hear:

"Every sin, fault or voluntary negligence dishonors Christ, our Head, and grieves the Holy Spirit who dwells in us (p. 141). ... Your love alone, O Lord, can conquer the great inconstancy of my mind and heart, and establish them in You, so that my life may become interior, rather than exterior, centered on You and Your grace instead of on myself and things of earth (p. 143)."

I have felt very unaccomplished lately. Too much of my time is spent on things of this world, and getting back into Ordinary Time will, I pray, help me recenter myself on Christ and my family. 

Onto something lighter. It was unseasonably warm this weekend, so I went with a nude leg and short sleeves.

Unlike the oft-butchered quote from Ms. Coco Chanel, I tend to add an accessory before I run out the door. 

I like to pretend those earrings are feathers, but they're probably leaves.

So, what do you think, ladies — belt or no belt? As I commented on one of the other WIWS posts last week: When it doubt, belt it. In this case, a belt makes the getup more complete (not to mention has a corset-effect). Let's pretend, for a moment, that I've not over accessorized.

Deets:

Earrings: Target

Butterfly Necklace: This week's touch of Granny Chic, originally owned by Ryan's grandmother.

Beaded necklace: Forever 21 (Great for accessories. Not so much for textiles. I bought my infamous shrinking dress there, which is now a tunic. This dress was a replacement for it, as it very similar in coloring and silhouette.)

Dress: Vintage, consignment shop in town

Belt: Target

Red T-shirt: Merona, Target

Watch: Fossil

Shoes: Vintage Crown, DSW

I'll end with an actual quote from Coco. 

"Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening."

Look for fashion everywhere this week. And visit the other ladies at Fine Linen and Purple! As for me, I'm off to tackle a tree.

What I Wore Sunday

by Shannon

Prepare yourself for a loooong blog post. If you stick through it, I'm giving a fashion lecture at the close of this post — YAY!

What a busy time of year. I took photos for last week's link-up, but blogging wasn't even close to happening. My busiest weeks of the year are the last week before Christmas and Holy Week. Now that the family Christmas gathering (both sides at my house at one time!) has passed, you'll get a double-dose of WIWS here this week.

For Gaudete Sunday, I did not partake in rose/pink. I have zero rose in my wardrobe, for serious. There are a couple hot pink accessories and a pale pink sweater with moth holes, so I went with black and brown. Why not.

This is my first LBD. Ever. I don't know how I made it nearly 30 years without one. It goes with everything. Everything! 

Deets:
Dress: Old Navy
Scarf: Vintage
Earrings: Betsey Johnson, Macy's
Necklace: gift (Fashion Bug?)
Belt: Kohls, Simply Vera
Watch: Fossil

Without fail, I always get a comment on these earrings when I wear them. That Sunday was no exception.

Huh. There's the TEENY TINEST BIT of rose in that bead near the conjunction of those chains. That's all I've got, people.

I used to fear combining black and brown together, but recently I've gotten over that. Rather, I am very picky about finding the right color tights for these boots. This color is juuuust about right.

These boots are beat. They are not supposed to be slouchy, if that tells you anything. I'm in the market for some new ones after the season starts to close. I've had these for three years, and I've gotten my money out of them. I even wear them one or two times a week in the summer. Stank boot, I know, but they look cute with summer dresses. I want something different this time. I really like these, but they're awfully trendy. Plus, Ryan says they look like shoes a kid with polio braces wore back in the '20s. I'll keep looking.

Tights: Target
Boots: Born, Zappos

This was our visitor last weekend, my kindred spirit Amy! She attended Mass with us. I have to give her a shout-out for being such a fantastic role model for Cruncher. Back story: We were college roommates. We ran in the same circle in high school and ended up at college together (much by my doing). On many Sundays, we'd go to both Mass and the service at the Methodist church. Her father is a minister. Today, she's an educator and often works at the Catholic schools back home. When she attends Mass with us, she follows right along, which really helps cut down on Cruncher's distractions. She's an amazing friend.

You'll notice the pictures of me are better than mine of hers. She's a fantastic photographer. And I'm guessing on her outfit's rundown. She's visiting family for the holidays right now or I'd factcheck.

Amy: 
Dress: Jessica Simpson
Earrings: 1928
Necklace: Vintage
Shirt: Heck if I know
Watch: Fossil
Other wrist: hairband?
Tights: TJ Maxx
Boots: Unsure, but FABULOUS

This was a gift from me. I knew she'd love it because I loved it. And because it's also a brooch.

We loooove 1928 jewelry.

BAM! How fabulous are those?

Here's Cruncher's picture of us together. One day, he'll grow. Or point the lens up.

Well, that concludes last week. I'll try to keep this week short, then onto the lecture.

Now that is some Fashion with a capital F! Mama brought this down yesterday (my family lives two hours away). She found it at Goodwill for $8. She swore to me it was a wool dress, but the back has a slit up to THERE, so it's definitely a coat. Probably a springtime coat, as it is not very heavy. Appears vintage, but the tag looks newer (Beaubois?). I kept it on the entirety of Mass (who wouldn't?), and was very comfortable.

Underneath I wore...

...something no one saw. The purple wool skirt, again. Last Sunday of Advent, so why not.

Earrings: gift
Sweater: hand-me-down (Style&Co, Macy's)
Skirt: Consigned, H&M
Brooch: my grandmother's
Tights: Target
Shoes: Calvin Klein, TJ Maxx

Next week, the WIWS photos will no longer feature our lovely Advent Jesse Tree. The rest of the Christmas decorations go up tomorrow! Sorry about the mess of opened gifts in the background. Tradition is to leave them out on display with the tree through Epiphany. We'll need to make room for Christmas morning's gifts but — ahem — someone needs to wrap them first.

The earrings were a Christmas gift from my parents my first year out of college. I didn't wear them for the longest time, because they're diamonds, but I've worn them a ton since I got my hair cut. I decided it's best to enjoy something lovely than to just let it sit and get dusty.

Last Christmas, my sister gave me a bunch of my grandmother's old jewelry. I usually wear gold jewelry, but I felt like this one gave a Christmasy sparkle to my sweater. I always pin this sweater with a brooch, for modesty and fashion's sake.

Holla if the toes of your nicest shoes are busted from kneeling at Mass?

I bought these shoes for a friend's wedding last winter. I feel like they look a little bit ... witchy. But they're classic and go with a lot of my church outfits.

And here's the lecture. My baby sister was among those visiting this weekend. As we were getting ready for Mass this morning, she asked me how I came to find my personal style. She's been struggling with her style since a.) she had a baby, and b.) she matured. In high school and partly into college, she was kinda punky. She's changed (as many of us do), but she's a wife and a mom and a library assistant at a middle school. These things don't often push you to up your fashion game.

I told her (more reminded her) of a few things. I think a woman often needs to have a style revelation before discovering (or searching for) her personal style. Mine came when Cruncher was about 2. I had stopped breast feeding him probably six months prior, and I was at my biggest dress size ever. I had a sick day, home all by myself (give it up for sick days for moms!). So what I did I do? I was a bum in front of the TV, watching a marathon of What Not to Wear. It was then I realized I needed to throw out most of my clothes. For serious. I realized I was too intimidated by being trendy, so I had given up.

Watching What Not to Wear that day made me realize they had been dressing women the same way for years. It's the same clothes over and over and over again. But what they also were consistently doing was dressing the BODY FIRST, and then the personality second. I started looking at clothes for cut and silhouette, not fabric and color. I'm drawn mostly to paisley, plaid and stripes, but not every paisley, plaid or striped piece of clothing is going to look good on me.

I very (VERY) slowly started to build up my wardrobe, trying on tons of items I never would have looked at twice before. Finally, my clothes fit my body shape and height, and then I added in accessories. For accessories, I buy quality (usually vintage) pieces I love and trendy pieces on deep clearance.

I hope the What I Wore Sunday link-up is helping women to see that confidence and femininity are crucial for contentment.

Rant over. I might talk on this some more another week.

Please visit the other ladies over at Fine Linen and Purple