Cruncher Chronicles: The Dragon and the Superheroes

by Cruncher

once a fire dragon ruled the world. but ironman saved the day. and he said, "Tony! I forgot to blog your post."

"yeah, but this suit that I made had, like, bad news because he said 'I ... I ... can defeat that dragon and I can pick him up.'"

but the hulk helped him. and wolverine helped him. and then they defeated the dragon. but. he defensed him and he got the hang of it.

the apostrophe was trapped in a villain. dragons that were really evil. but he was a fire-breathing dragon, and he's trying to be in disguise, and then only ironman and hulk was trying to get the dragon. and then they got it. and then he got the people that got the dragon got back to the dragon, and then, this is still not the end.

and he forgot to get his armor on. his special armor, and then he almost got killed, but the hulk saved the day. and then he was looking at the hulk and he said, "you're a good superhero. I wish I had you around. but you still don't need to get me. because you could get somebody else on your own with the other dragons. and then you can rule the world, but not this place."

and then he got a nerf gun and shooted him. PEW! PEW! PEW! and then he had a lot of guns and a cannonball. because he had to get that dragon because one of his superheroes was in it and then the dragon got the superhero and got him out of the dragon. and then the dragon got some soup that he ate, but he still didn't eat it all.

and this is still not the end. still. it's gonna be a long time before this ends.

and then. and then. there's a nerf gun that's here like this. *shoots nerf gun* and then he got back wolverine and then wolverine was trying to get a dragoncat. and then soon he's gonna get a horse by defending his self and his army. and then he had to defend all the droids that were really bad.

and then he haded to do graduation and then he was all done with school and then he got to be a superhero. but. he still didn't have luck because he got the powerful guy in the world and his dark lord.

i know i made up this story, but not the characters. except dark lord.

and then Tony said, "can I please see you on Facebook? soon?" but his horse was really just tired so he got the horse back into the cage and he got to get his own space, but he didn't do it all. he did it by himself. so he got some water and then he turned into a real superhero. and then he got to be a superhero again.

THE END.

D.C. Trois

by Shannon


Day 3. We'd recovered from Day 2's disasters. I again would be schmoozing and gabbing and learning and eating, and the guys went to the National Zoo. Just so happened that the zoo was in walking distance of our fancy-schmancy conference hotel, plus it's free, so that worked out nicely.

Cruncher is still talking about the panda, but Ryan said he wasn't too friendly. 

This guy wanted to make friends, though. Ryan said the otters looked like rats, but were still oddly cute.

Other dudes. Bottom right: The bird is perched on his sign.

Where they ate lunch. Some random "Irish" pub. It was somewhat north of good food.

Riding the Metro to our second hotel.

Actually, before the zoo excursion that morning, Ryan loaded the car and drove up to our second hotel in Rockville, Maryland. Then the two of them rode the Metro back to the zoo so we could all ride on the Metro after the conference closed. We didn't want to drive in D.C. during rush-hour traffic and figured this was a good solution.

We arrived at our second hotel at around 6 p.m., checked in, and grabbed our keys. Ryan went to unload our stuff, and Cruncher and I headed up to the room to settle in ... where I opened the door to a trashed and inhabited room with soft music playing and clothes all over the floor. Yeah. The front desk clerks were floored when I told them what happened, and by the time we checked out Thursday, management still hadn't figured out what went wrong. The manager apologized and let me know next time we're in D.C., he'll take care of our stay. Not quite sure what that means, but I don't see us coming back soon.

Three days left in Family Trip Review 2013!

D.C. Deux

by Shannon


Basically a photo dump from Day 2 in D.C. I spent the first couple days in seminars, eating free food and schmoozing, so this post is just the guys, perdy much.

DAY 1

The view from our hotel room. You can see the Washington Monument off on the left,
in scaffolding due to earthquake damage. 

While I wasted away in seminars, Ryan and Cruncher walked to the
Capitol Building, and then off to the Newseum. 

The view from the Newseum balcony (Canandian embassy on the one side, Pennsylvania Avenue in front).

Ryan TOOK PHOTOS in the bathroom because he got a kick out of real (goofy) newspaper headlines on tile. SO HE TOOK PICTURES. WITH A CAMERA. IN THE BATHROOM. Weirdo. 

Some stinkin' cute kid on TV.

TV broadcast antenna from Ground Zero.

Unabomer's cabin. Yeah.

Top down: part of the Berlin wall, looking up into Checkpoint Charlie,
sign at Checkpoint Charlie, view of Checkpoint Charlie.

This picture warrants a story, not a caption. Those are Cruncher's shorts. And the pocket of Cruncher's short's. When I met Ryan and Cruncher in the hotel room after seminars, eating free food and schmoozing on Day 1, I was told a jaw-dropping story about how my son almost perished on one of those three-story Metro escalators. One second, he's standing there like a good 5-year-old. And then the next, Ryan is ripping my screaming son off of the moving death-stairs, which ate the pocket right off his cargo shorts. After filling out an incident report with the perplexed Metro workers (Cruncher escaped with only scrapes on his ankle), then Ryan almost died/lost Cruncher when the Metro doors slammed shut on Ryan's forearm — with Ryan standing on the platform while holding Cruncher's hand, who was inside the Metro train. Two strangers helped Ryan pry open the doors so he could jump on before losing our son for eternity. Sigh.... Cruncher eased my worries by saying not only did Daddy handle all of these tragedies remarkably well, but Cruncher was also relieved I wasn't there. What a thoughtful boy.  Moving on.

Crazy-long escalators. You'd think a small child would be fearful of escalators after such an incident,
but he seems to love them even more. He lived to tell the tale, I guess. 

Churchkey, where we met one of Ryan's Internet beer friends for dinner.
And beer. Duh. We ran/walked through the rain for about 15 blocks to get there.
Luckily, the food was tasty. We caught a cab back to the hotel, and the fare wasn't
much more than Metro tickets for all three of us. I was pretty tense the whole
eight-minutes cab ride, though, since it was Cruncher's first car ride
without a carseat or booster. Okay. I was a wreck. We all slept well that night.

D.C. Part Uno

by Shannon

"At Washington, D.C., I got to see the White House. 

And I got to see ... I forget."

~ Cruncher

So, we drove to D.C. last week. As you can see, it was a trip that REALLY made an impression on the young mind we're culturing. I'll post the happenings over a few different posts, since we traveled and toured during six days.

Here's how we decided to vacay in D.C.: After Ryan and I settled on St. Francis of Assisi to be our family's 2013 patron, we talked about taking a Franciscan pilgrimage this year. The only Franciscan monastery is in D.C.. However, being the CFO and vice president of worry in our household, I nixed the trip due to expenses. Fast forward a few months to early May. My boss told me I had to go to D.C. for work. There was a conference coming up, and he had other appointments booked, so I needed to go in his place. "Cool. But I guess you want me to fly, right?" He knows I hate flying. "Well, I would fly if I were you, but you can drive if you want. It'll take all day." Then I got excited. I could bring the whole family, stay a couple days after the conference, get reimbursed for milage, AND the guys would have a couple extra days to explore the city while I was busy with work. Perfecto!

We hadn't been on a family trip in, like ... well, ever. There was that Thanksgiving trip to Pine Mountain. And the time we went to Chicago to visit a friend. And a long weekend in Indy and Brown County, Indiana. But never, like, a REAL family vacation. With a ROAD TRIP. Ryan was pretty psyched.

Pine Mountain Resort, Thanksgiving 2010

The planning began. I decided we would start out at the super-fancy conference hotel (on the company's dollar), which was conveniently located blocks from the National Zoo (free admission and fun for the guys while I attended the conference). After the conference ended Tuesday, we would trek to a second hotel for the rest of our D.C. stay. Something cheap and clean. Then on Thursday night, we would drive even further out of town to a hotel in West Virginia, so our drive home Friday could be segmented and leisurely. I researched and researched and researched, as I do, and found the perfect hotels. Aaaand I got around to booking the second hotel in Rockville, Maryland, but procrastinated on the third hotel. It'll work out in the end. Promise.

We also prepped with grocery shopping shelf-stable items. The hope was we would only eat breakfast and "linner" (a late lunch/early dinner) with snacks sprinkled through the day. The HOPE.

And I bought a few special things for the trip: a travel purse or glorified cross-body wallet, so I wouldn't get pick-pocketed: new tennis shoes for Cruncher so his feet wouldn't hurt (riiight); a few summer outfits for Cruncher; some professional clothes for the conference (our office is veeeeery casual); and I think that's it. There were enough plans to make and supplies to buy that the few weeks leading up to the trip went super-fast.

We went to confession and Mass late Saturday afternoon, packed through the evening, and drove off around 8 a.m. Sunday. We grabbed a hearty breakfast in the Wendy's drive thru, and we were off!

Somewhere in central Kentucky.

The drive was supposed to be nine hours. We only stopped for short breaks and to fill up the tank. You wouldn't believe how amazing Cruncher was.

Cruncher with perpetual sidekick Orland.
He came with that goofy name, as Cabbage Patches do.

No whining. I repeat: No whining. He stayed busy with his books and coloring or just playing with some small toys we toted along. Sometimes, he requested I read from Jim Gaffigan's new book, which we all loved (I read the whole thing aloud between the to and fro).

We arrived at the hotel about 6 p.m. It's a beautiful old building in a fancy residential part of the city. Tidbits: The Beatles reserved an entire floor of the hotel for one night back in the '60s, and this is the hotel where President Clinton played his famous inaugural saxophone solo. It was also the only of the three hotels we slept in that has had reported bedbugs (apparently very professionally handled). That might surprise you after you hear about the rest of our trip. Stay tuned!

We checked in, dropped of our stuff, dropped off the car with valet, and walked across the street for dinner at Open City.

Cruncher ordered something he didn't eat (tummy problems, which I diagnosed as Too Much Gummy Bears and Twizzlers Syndrome). Ryan had some sort of veggie sandwich with chili and a local beer. I ordered from the breakfast menu — bagel with cream cheese, smoked salmon and a caper relish with a latté.

Don't let the latté art fool you. It had NOTHING on our favorite coffee shop on the planet, and 2013 Coffee Fest America's Best Espresso Winner Sunergos.

Five more days to blog about ... no promises.

Walking in Athens

by Ryan



So... how was May? For the average school teacher, it's probably the busiest time of the year. All those evenings of Shannon watching Cruncher while I stay late for this-and-that reason have left precious little time for blogging. And thus — our excuse.

Cruncher finished kindergarten on Wednesday. Even in my position, I am overwhelmed with how much he's learned this year. What an amazing difference nine months make! I hope that every parent feels as optimistic about their child's future as I do now. Now, if he could prepare his own meals...

_ _ _

I joined a gym.

No, really. Stop laughing — it's true!

After my doctor told me that I was 35 pounds overweight, and thinking about the history of heart attacks in my family, I finally decided to get in shape. Going to the gym is at once inspiring and intimidating. I routinely see a man who has obviously lost a great deal of weight; his dedication really rubs off on me. When I feel winded, I often look over at him, and think "if he can do it, so can I!" Then, there's the lady who is about my wife's weight, but can bench twice what I can... inspiring and intimidating!

Unfortunately, the gym isn't all treasure. Three TVs are playing all hours of the day, and while one is tuned to the Weather Channel (really?) and the other ESPN, there is a third that's a real mixed bag. I was "fortunate" enough to catch Entertainment Tonight one evening, and it seemed like every glance toward that TV revealed yet another woman wearing something that only her husband should see in the confines of their bedroom. Then there was the story about the former star reviving her career with a movie where she is a stripper...

Sometimes a trip to the gym feels like a walk in Athens. In Acts 17, Paul is doing just that, or is so implied. He is appalled by the idols that surround him, yet he opens his speech in the Aero'pagus with:

"Men of Athens, wherever I look I find you scrupulously religious." (Acts 17:22)

I love the language of the Knox Bible here; the New American Bible instead renders the end of the verse "very religious." Yet "scrupulous" shows an excessive attention to detail; an intense devotion to a thing or person. Indeed the attention to physical fitness I witness at the gym is good within itself, but to become scrupulous about one's body can lead to a disordered devotion, or even idolatry not dissimilar to what Paul was privy to in Athens.

We can also fall prey to false devotion when we misuse something; our bodies in relation to our sexuality is a perfect example. Neither the male or female body are bad in themselves, but when they become nothing more than a source of physical pleasure or visual amusement, they also become a sort of idol. We take away the healthy partnerships and meaningful intimacy that should exist in these bonds, and instead make people into commodities to be obtained.

Study for Paul Preaching in Athens, Raphael, 1515
Man in the middle: "Umm, Paul, may I pick your brain for a minute?"

If Paul walked today through the Athens of our souls, what would our idols be? Would he see devotion to God at the center of our lives, or would he see in His place idols that distract our devotion? Would it be rampant sexuality, or a religious devotion to a sports team? Maybe a scrupulous attention to physical fitness? I wonder if Paul would still find, as he did in Athens, a small shrine "to an unknown God" (Acts 17:23), a God that cries out for our devotion. Yet, would we continue to shuffle by on the way to our more familiar idols, or might we tarry a moment longer, close to the source of all goodness? In matters relating to devotion to God or to the treadmill, one must start small. Most of all, one must start in the first place — let the first place be now.

"Let us begin again, for up until now we have done nothing." 

-St. Francis of Assisi

Who Down with I-O-P? Everybody!

by Shannon


You down with I-O-P? Yeah, you know me! À la this at 2:50. (Did you check the dubbing at 0:55 — what language was that? Ooooh, YouTube. So funny you are.) I have a serious place in my heart for Sister Act 2. Serious like I own the soundtrack. (Thanks, Ames!)

St. Martin of Tours, Louisville, Kentucky

I do not, unfortunately, have a serious place in my heart for IOP (Infant of Prague). I've never felt drawn to this image of the Christ Child. I usually prefer Bouguereau's La Vierge au lys, but probably because the young Jesus reminds me of Cruncher the Toddler.

Amiright?

Oh. My. Goodness. Completely off topic, but look at this truly adorbs (yes, I totally said "adorbs") oooold picture of Cruncher. Eeek!

Cheeks! And curls! And cheeks!

That's one of the outfits he wore during his first week home from the hospital. Now that you've witnessed the cutest cuteness ever, I'll move on. Now, what was I ... oh, yes. Infant of Prague. There He is.

St. Martin of Tours, Louisville, Kentucky

There are many interesting and beautiful Catholic images, particularly of Mary, that reflect the culture of the image's origin. For me, the Infant of Prague always fell more under "interesting" than "beautiful." There is something about a baby Jesus dripping in jewels that just feels ... not quite right.

Enter this week. Things have been rough lately. Rough for days and weeks and months, and I've had ENOUGH. I don't handle day-to-day anxiety well, so I go a bit mentally AWOL when I have too much piled on me. It is time for some serious prayer. And when I need serious prayer, I start a novena.

A novena is a prayer said during a nine-day period, and there are countless available. Tuesday, I started one to St. Cajetan, patron of job seekers, since I've been thinking about finding new employment. But I'm realizing my current problems are beyond my job. While reading Alice's blog post about things being crazy for weeks, I concurred and started brainstorming about a new novena. My comment on her post:

It’s comforting to know I’m not the only one who’s been living through insanity for the last month or so. I think I’m going to start a novena for peace and quiet. Want in on my intentions? Our Lady of Good Counsel’s feast day is Saturday, so too bad I can’t end on that day. Hmm … if I start it today, maybe Ss. Timothy and Martha? Or St. Philip. Thoughts? Oh, duh — St. Francis of Assisi is patron of peace. He is our family’s 2013 patron saint, after all…. WOAH. Know who else is patron of peace? Infant of Prague, feast day May 3. There’s my answer. I’ve never felt called toward the Infant of Prague — have you? Maybe I could even throw in some intentions for the Boston bombers. 

It wasn't until later when I invited our FB followers to join Ryan and me in praying the novena that I realized the Infant of Prague's feast day is the THIRD SUNDAY of May, not May 3. I can let that go, though, because the Infant of Prague is patron for all of my current problems: peace, family life, good health and good finances. If I could have some peace in those last three areas, I might might might be able to breathe again. No, seriously. I've been having chest tightness and shortness of breath and headaches and eye pain and fatigue. Did I tell you I'm a hypochondriac too? I'm a hypochondriac too. Admitting your problem is the first step to recovery. Except that I admitted the problem 20 years ago. Mooooving on...

This post has been all over the place when all I wanted to do was invite everyone to join Ryan and me in a novena to the Infant of Prague. Let us pray:

Dearest Jesus, Little Infant of Prague, how tenderly You love us! 

Your greatest joy is to dwell among us and to bestow Your blessing upon us. 

Though I am not worthy that You should help me, I feel drawn to You by love 

because You are kind and merciful. 

So many who turned to You with confidence have received graces 

and had their petitions granted. Behold me as I come before You to lay 

open my heart to You with its prayers and hopes. I present to You especially 

this request, which I enclose in Your loving Heart: (Mention your request). 

Rule over me, dear Infant Jesus, and do with me and mine according to 

Your Holy Will, for I know that in Your Divine Wisdom and Love You will 

arrange everything for the best. Do not withdraw Your hand from me, but 

protect and bless me forever. 

I pray You, all-powerful and gracious Infant Jesus, for the sake of Your 

Sacred Infancy, in the Name of Your Blessed Mother Mary who cared for 

You with such tenderness, and by the greatest reverence with which Saint Joseph 

carried You in his arms, help me in my needs. Make me truly happy with You, 

dearest Infant, in time and in eternity, and I shall thank You forever with all my heart. 

Amen.

If you'd like to join in on this novena, feel free to leave a prayer intention in the comments, or you can e-mail or Facebook me.

Perhaps before this devotion comes to a close, I'll feel more strongly toward this image of the Redeemer of the World. I hope you'll join us in praying for peace during the next nine days. Who doesn't love baby Jesus?

What I Wore Sunday: An Afternoon with Inigo Montoya

by Shannon


I traveled alone this weekend, all the way up to my hometown, so my BFF'n'E Amy and I could have a muuuuuch needed ladies' afternoon out.

The trees are all light green with new growth, and there was tons of floral color on the roadside — yellow, purple, pink and white, not to mention reeeeally green Kentucky grass. It was a therapeutic drive in which I belted my lungs out, per usual.

Amy and I have been waiting for weeks and weeks and weeks to go see Mandy Patinkin in concert with the Cincinnati Pops Orchestra. Ames is wrapping up a semester of grad school, so I couldn't wait to step in and help her forget her stresses for a few hours.

Here's what Amy wore:

I'm not positive of the details in their entirety, but I'll take a stab at it.

Deets:
Emerald (2013 Pantone color!) pendant: Lauren Conrad, Kohls
Bangin' black dress: not sure of brand, Macys
Black pumps: not sure of brand, DSW
Needlepoint handbag: vintage, Etsy

[EDIT: Ames said the dress was Evan Picone — hah! — and the shoes are Life Stride.]

I wore the same thing to both Mass and the concert — my Easter dress again — but with different accessories (and perhaps too much warpaint, in hindsight):

Deets:
Fan earrings: Target (can see them three pictures up)
Triple pearl strand: Target
Rose wrap dress: Evan Picone, consignment shop in town
Houndstooth jacket: Beaubois, Goodwill
Tortoiseshell watch: Fossil
Kitten-heel Mary Janes: Calvin Klein, TJ Maxx

The concert was at Cincinnati Music Hall, a beautiful venue in much need of some updating (like, I dunno, hooks in all bathroom stalls would be a nice start). Check out that magnificent chandelier. 

Mr. Patikin was just as expected — charming and fascinating. Listening to him sing is like watching a painter create a masterpiece. Cheesy, sorry, but so-oh-so true. And, yes, he walked around like a peepaw washing dishes the entire concert. 

And, yes, he totally said this BETTER than in the movie, people. He is a magical old man. 

Head on over to Fine Linen and Purple to check out what other ladies wore on the Lord's Day!